Kiwi

miyuchi

I think there's nothing wrong with crying, especially when you're feeling fucked up by some strange twist of nature.

Really.

But I can't seem to cry.

FUCK.


Oh yeah, happy birthday.

miyuchi

Ayan nakaiyak din!

Tapos iisipin ko ang babaw ko...

ang tao talaga, kahit pagbigyan na, di pa rin makuntento.

Haaaay.

miyuchi

The thing is, my mother's OTP is Justin x Britney. (Yes, those are AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL hers!)

The thing is, I've been waking up to the posters of this OTP of hers for the past 8 years, and I finally convinced her to have me take it down.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

You won't believe it, but she asked me to take good care of the posters while I take them down because she would inspect them later. LOL. I hope my mom is aware that after that long, the papers have become so fragile, it was as crisp as dried leaves on a cold day. I can hear a crunch-like sound while I tore it down. And yes, that was a guilty pleasure I induldged in a while ago, tearing  them down.

Well the wall wasn't pretty to begin with so she covered it with pictures. And because we still don't have money to have it repainted, I had to cover it again. At least I get to chose the pictures!

Sadly, I don't have much jrock pictures so I settled with the anime posters I have been keeping for a while now. And then some black and white pictures I printed over my mother's office computer.

And my my! I had kagrra then! XDDDD But I'm still planning on having a big poster of Kagrra, the GazettE, Nightmare and Sendai Kamotsu made. Nyahahahah~ I hope my mother doesn't curse me for posting Chiba's face. LOOOOOL.

Anyway, while going through some things a while ago. I found these:

A really old picture of Toshiya and Shinya from Dir en Grey. I dunno, but the situation just reminded me of Nao and Shin of Kagrra,. FUUUUUUUUUU~ X3

And also a Die x Shinya pic!!! WEEEE~ second OTP from Diru~ it looks like a scandal pic. XDDD

I wanted to post this but I may get death glares from mom. Ahhh~ but that reminds me. Gravitation is the sole reason I'm so into yaoi now. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~


For Jho and Prans:

That's Seek in Pyscho le Cemu (disbanded), Roman Hikko period. Yes, he's human. XDDDD

OOOOH~ old sketches.

And that's the final work. It looks like a collage. In fact I was simply trying to cover the fugly wall. I'm beat...

I guess this ends my holy week room cleaning/re-arranging. I'm giving my throat and nose a break. I felt like dying sneezing from all the dusts while working, demmet and I still have a bitching cold.

Ahhh~ how do I end my night? I still don't feel like writing. Maybe I'll try finishing Mitch Albom's "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". Getting quite interesting~ OYACHUUUU MINA!

miyuchi

I felt like shit the whole day, and I still do at some extent. The cold has gone worse today, although the coughing has tamed a bit. The only good thing about this day, despite being unable to smell or taste foods properly, is I was able to finish a book.

Since my body felt like jello the whole day and I've been yawning for the nth time (effects of cold), I think this become an opportunity for me to finally spend time with a book. I've been reading a lot of fanfics (and writing ones) but it's been a while since I held a novel in my hand. And you know what, I missed the feeling of finishing one.

The novel I read was "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom. Not the best I've read, but I certainly love the wisdom he shared through the story of Eddie, and I like his picture of heaven. I really do. While my head sort of spin once in a while because of the cold, reading every chapter gave me a fuzzy feeling, and a time to think of the simple things in life, lessons that we pick up everyday although often times we are not aware of it.

Ahhh~ maybe it's true that all things happen for a reason. I'd like to believe that.

miyuchi

I don't know why, but I seem to be losing track of time. I feel like my sense of space and time is all warped up into this small room in our house. It's safe to say that this is my own "heaven", because I am most at peace here. Even if there is nothing to do, I don't feel useless, I can still feel my existence because the very walls of the room echoes my own memories and experiences in life. Sometimes I just don't care about the heat or how clogged the air in the room is, I'm most comfortable here, laying down, reading a book, writing, or just gliding away in fantasies with my preferred music.

Sadly, I realized that I'm still waiting for an announcement from UST that the enrollment for this year's semester is this date and that. Sometimes I forget that I'm not a student anymore; I have to find a job, get valid, new ID's and step out of my little paradise, my safe zone. I'm not ready yet, but I have to get myself together eventually, right? The hardest part is the beginning because often times, we do not know how to begin.

But while I'm not ready, I will enjoy my time here, inside. It's safe, it's warm, and I am productive here. To deny is sad, but I will get over this.

Promise.

miyuchi

That the human heart is scary.
And it's scarier when that conscienceless human heart is paired with a witty brain.

Why?

They can get rich with non-sense.

Oh yes they can.

And a lot of people are already making sense of the non-sense because it's designed to have sense when it doesn't. REALLY.

EVIL.
that's what you call it.


People are picking up so-called 'lives' in a fiasco.
What good news to the world.

miyuchi

Well, earlier we were in search of a very old photo of my mom. It's so old we cannot find it anymore in the tampipi of my grandmother, where they usually kept the really old, black and white, almost dusting pictures of them in the early days.

Anyway, thank you Tita Beth and Tita May for the help in search of that picture. I'm pretty sure my mom hid it somewhere safe from my scrutiny and evil laughter. aaaaaaaaaaamp.

Well, along the way, I found some really interesting pictures of my grandfather, his days in the military, in Vietnam, as well as his own shots. Yes, I think my grandfather adored taking pictures as much as I do today. He owned a Nikon SLR and he always wore it.

Grandfather's the one in shades, other hand on his hip, other hand holding the immortal cancer stick (which remains as his best friend until now) and of course, the one with the SLR. 

POGI! He's still carrying the camera~ I've got the same model at home, I think and the same case.

This is my Tita Aneng when she was 6 years old, shot at our compound. Gaaaah~ it looks so different! I really love this photo, especially when holding the original one. It looks so spontaneous and bright, as if you can feel that it was a day that the clouds were scattered like cotton candies and the sky was as clear as a mountain spring, even the breeze is comfy. That much I can feel from this very simple photo of a father to his daughter.

I'm not sure where this is, but I love the composition, espcially I'm a big fan of this kind of angle. The scanner didn't even gave justice to this picture. I tried not to adjust anything to the scan so, I'm sorry for the folds being there as well. I think this photo is older than me. WAAAAAAAAAY older than me.

Yes, my grandfather and his harem of young men. LOOOL. No he's not gay, I'm just giving this sinful humor. PAHAHAHAH~ And the camera is still with him! XDDD

It's just so amusing that I share this kind of hobby with my grandfather. I really really adore this man. He's 76 now and he's still as strong as a horse, unbelievable. He drinks and smokes but no major complications yet in his body. Amazing, ne? And funny that earlier I was taking photos of him in his Veteran attire. I should have done a good job because he's more experienced than me. Yet he wasn't bossy or anything. So that's why he's always in charge of the film in manual cameras back then and why my mother told me to ask help to Lolo if I wanted to learn how to use the SLR. AAAAAAHHHH~ so that's why.

GAAAAAAAAH~ asteeeeeeeg. He likes to collect memories too~

*runs to LOLO*

miyuchi

Can I consider this antique already?

Gaaaaah~ I wanna try using this Nikon SLR! But, I still don't know how to operate it and Lolo said there's something stuck so I might want to get it checked. In Recto or Quiapo maybe.

So MONEY! Rain on me~

Or no, better yet, a JOB please!

I wonder how the quality of pictures are with this type of camera...hmmm....

miyuchi

"That's why I like to listen to Schubert while I'm driving. Like I said, it's because all the performances are imperfect. A dense, artistic kind of imperfection stimuluates your consciousness, keeps you alert. If I listen to some utterly perfect piece while I'm driving, I might want to close my eyes and die right then and there. But listening to D major, I can feel the limits of what humas are capable of--that a certain type of perfection can only be realized through limitless accumulation of the imperfect. And personally, I find that encouraging. Do you know where I'm getting at?"


-Oshima, Kafka on the Shore (Haruki Murakami)


He makes a lot of sense. This gives another good view of the concept of imperfection.

I'm enjoying this book a lot. ^^ *gives K-Ann a Yoochun hug for this*


Oh well, just waiting for Mao and we are off for a busy day.

おはよう　ごじます！
みんあーさん！

miyuchi

I was actually angry before coming in contact with this keyboard, typing this very word and eventually the end of this sentence.

I was really angry at my little brother because what irritates me the most is inconsideration because of selfishness. We are ALL selfish one way or the other, sometimes we're not even conscious of this act, but selfishness can take a place when it's needed. I CAN be selfish if I want to, but I chose not according to the situation. Most of the time I try to act mature and give way, knowing that at least I'm acting better than that selfishness, and in some way, I'm defeating that wrong act by countering it with the correct one.

But sometimes, it just doesn't work.
So I get angry. I get so irritated, I think I get angry.

I was  thinking of smoking, but then I've finished too many sticks today and my cold is starting to creep back, so instead I plopped down on the sofa and grabbed the book I was reading.

At first I couldn't even focus on the words because I wanted to physically inflict pain on my little brother, just to give him a piece of my mind, but slowly, the words eventually soothed my nerves and I got back on the story faster than I expected.

Then that REVELATION from Oshima (again, this character is so lovable) simply blew ALL the anger AWAY.

Oh Oshima...what more will you tell me? <3

miyuchi

Well, this post has nothing to do with Franz Kafka the writer, but that's because I've finished reading my first Haruki Murakami book, Kafka on the Shore.

Well, what can I say, that book kept my interest throughout the duration I held it. At every turn there is a surprise, at every turn there is something to learn about. The ending wasn't the best, not the type that would make you sigh deep after turning the back cover of the book, signaling the finish line. But I guess that's the point, for the most interesting parts of the book was when the characters were on the move, travelling from point to point, either through the inevitable push of fate or because they were searching for something that's been lost in time. The journey, we say.

We grow from the journey the most, the destination is a fulfillment of that journey. The mark where we embark on another adventure to grow.

/drama.

Now I want to read more Haruki Murakami. I want to save up money to buy his other books. And I'm certainly interested in his non-fiction work as well. Japanese-psyche, huh? Interesting.

--

DADDDDDDDDDDDDEH!!!

You've been in the states far too long! I really miss you! Now you're officially in your peak of life, you've turned gold, you are now officially 50 demmet! So now, let's hug each other tight when we see each other, okay? I know we'll cry, I know you'll make me cry and I would realize just how much I missed you. It will feel awkward not to hear your voice over the line from the internet, and maybe I would still see pixels when I look at your face then. Maybe I would just smile and you would ask why. Maybe I'll just laugh it off, maybe we will laugh together in that room, together with the whole family. I think I would be very happy then, and I'll cry secretly. I know I would really be happy.

Gosh, I really miss my dad.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD MAN!

We'll certainly get that piercing together, okay?

*sniff*