Kiwi

So, miyuchi, your LiveJournal reveals...



You are... 8% unique (blame, for example, your interest in pyschomaniacs) and 38% herdlike (partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy yaoi). When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are keen to please. Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is conventional.

Your overall weirdness is: 13

(The average level of weirdness is: 27.
You are weirder than 22% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!

So, there you have it.

The last line killed me. Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is conventional.

I was having a smooth conversation with Ella the other day and realized just how much I appreciate having her as a friend. It kind of saddens me to think that we won't get to hang-out as much as we could easily inside 204, but I'm happy that she's slowly taking steps to achieve her dreams. I wish I could be as passionate as her. Being 19 and not having a dream for yourself and for your future is sad. The same thing repeats to me over and over again; every time I wake up. It's the same dull routine that you do every single time. You’re lucky when somebody takes the time to talk to you. It's good when you can laugh at something. But sometimes it's even more frustrating that you're so immobile. Immobile in the sense that you live because you are living. But to live for noting is nothingness in it self.

I remembered telling Ella that I wanted to change course if only I wasn't so lazy to organize the shifting. I think I've expressed it a number of times to my peers, but of course that's another thing to consider. I think I really like Psychology and Sociology; however I've come to love Literature as well. And when you're afraid of changes, moving forward is impossible. Well, that's me, frankly. I don't like changes. I really don't. It's fun where I am now in this period of my life, but I don't know if this is where I should be. And what scares me most is that I tend to lose easily something that I enjoy now for something that I would enjoy later. It's like picking up a brand new doll and completely neglecting your old doll. I've analyze this about myself and it's getting me no where. I don't know how to change it too. So whenever I get hooked into something new, I think ahead and get scared of losing the feeling. It's the same towards my friends, that's why I am really thankful for those that never let go of my hands whenever I am slipping slowly away.

When I entered collage, I thought I could live with the spirit of a writer in my heart. Let us say that in that period of my life, I really liked writing. With the encouragement of my other friends and seniors who've praised me of my skills, I thought that taking up Literature would suit me most. I took it as a second choice since I thought Com Arts is more practical. When I failed the first choice and got accepted in the Lit program, I thought: "Ah, maybe I'll shift later." Yes, I was one of those leeches in the program. But later I've come to love the feeling of exclusiveness, since our course is a "Center of Excellence". But recognition and fame comes pressure and high expectation. The "standards" gradually became a burden for what I consider once my "salvation". I thought my writing always lacks something---both in substance and technique. I tried to improve, but whenever I try to move, it gets me frustrated that this is just who I am and only this I can do.

Whenever I have a younger acquaintance entering collage, I would advice them to get the course that would put you in the best position. Where you enjoy and learn it at the same time. So the interest never dies and you could challenge anything because you love what you are doing. Then again, I would ask myself, "have I done the same?" or "Should I listen and take my advice?" or "Am I in the position to speak those things?" like that. It's pathetic, I tell you. Even Ella was a little surprised that I felt those things. Maybe because I'm always smiling or I'm always trying to enjoy every moment of my life. It's okay to cherish every second you are living but not knowing how to live it to the fullest, is useless.

I'm sorry (if you have read up to this point and can still bear the sentimental writing) if I have to blurt this out. Maybe I am seeking for advice. I really envy those people that were born with a passion in their heart. Those that even in their childhood, they know what they should be when they grow up and have enough drive to pursue it.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so laid back. Sometimes I wish I am really apathetic so I don't have to think so much. Sometimes I wish I have enough faith in Him so I don't have to be so lost. Sometimes I wish I know how to reach out to people, enough that they could feel I care and I want to be cared. Sometimes I wish I could express myself in words that do not have to hurt. Sometimes I wish I had the voice, the tears and the will so I don't have to carry so much emotional luggage. Sometimes I just want to be free and run as far as I want or to fly in the swing or shout with all my heart so it's less stressful.

While I was eating earlier, I heard some "back-to-school" advertisement over the radio. I wasn't aware that two months have passed by so fast and I couldn't feel a bit of excitement. I want to see my friends, but attending school again is like being freed from your cage for a while by your master, and needing to come back to that cage because it's the only way you know to live---by your master's guidance. That was how it felt for me.

I hope I could change this. I hope I could write another post someday that will answer everything and oppose everything that I've written here. I will really look forward to that. And to look forward means to begin something now. I want to. I really do. Recently, I've been loving documentaries and talk shows that have people telling their inspirational stories and giving advice how to live life well and be happy. Often they move me to tears and it's really encouraging.

Right now the song that connects to me is Dong Bang Shin Ki's "Holding Back the Tears". At first I just really loved the song because of its melody. Since it's in Korean, all I could understand were the lines: "I'm holding back the tears" and "I'm living with my tears" which were sung with so much emotion, they sounded like a person crying. Ironic, isn’t it? When I read the translation, the impact was so much greater. In poetry, whenever you read the poem again, you find a deeper meaning. It's the same in foreign songs. If you have loved the melody, then connecting to the language is another thing. It could be better.

_{Holding back the tears
by DBSK / TVXQ}

<sub>A faded white painting and my slightly vanished scent are hidden inside a eye-blinding cloud

My wordless heart slowly moves
And the time that passes inbetween is in my hands

I'm holding back the tears
I hang my heart so it'll be weightless
In a place not too close but not too far
Another me is standing, I don't cry

I bring my two hands together once again
In a place I live the present life instead of the memories

It's foolish but we were always together
The pain that I wanted to empty flowed throughout my whole body and dries up my tears

I'm living with my tears
I'm holding back the tears
I hang my heart so it'll be weightless
In a place not too close but not too far
Another me is standing, I don't cry

I'm holding back the tears
I hang my faith on me and run
In a place that is not high nor low
Another me is standing,
With a small smile, I can smile</sub>

I sound so pessimistic.
tsk.

Since my mom's boss is out of town, she is left all alone in the office she is currently serving as temporary secretary in place of her friend. Like a kind of daughter that I should be, I served as her office companion for the day.

It was a private office; A condominium unit serving as the working quarter. The place was okay. Corporate--simple but sleek. What amused me was the abundant supply of potpourri and scented oils (lavender to be specific) in each area of the office. The bathroom was clean and spacious. Fairly relaxing for your time on the throne.

Then I saw IT.

My mom's PC is quite old. The USB can't even be detected. Windows 98. I was getting a little bored after eating and digesting new knowledge from Reader's Digest and the palatable ones. I was roaming around the office when I saw a typewriter.

It wasn't those ones that your fingers slip in between the keys, the modern version. I just don't know how they call it, but it's really cool. I was in the writing mood since yesterday (uhm, loooong entry) and after an epiphany in the bathroom. The PC was useless since I don't have any means of saving it for me to take home (no internet too), the typewriter was perfect for me to conduct my writing.

At first we were having difficulty inserting the daisy-something in but well, I am a very curious kid, as my mom puts it, so I tried hard to figure out the thing. And with perseverance comes a prize! I did it!

Aside from the machinegun sounds it makes per key, the ink was as clear as that from a printer. And I figured out that it's time-efficient since the text is direct to the paper. What fascinated me the most is it has a "correct button which is the very equivalent of "delete" and "backspace" in a PC keyboard! How cool is that!

I guess I got so fond of it, I was able to write four pages of my drabbling. I hope I'm permanently out of the block, because I really missed putting to words my ideas. Although they are incoherent at the moment, I can see some substance in my work. I felt my veins working as every blood in my body pumps back and fort with the adrenaline rush.

I do. I do love to write. Even if I am in this period of "loss" (as Char-Char puts it, domo!), I'm really happy that I found felicity in the craft than sulking about standards and metaphors. You just really have to enjoy what you do, I guess~ HAHA!
 
Well, please do me a favor and read this story of mine: METALLIC . The structure is unconventional and it might seem frustrating to read, but please bear it! I'd really like to hear your opinions about it. I think I have to put myself once in a while in the pedestal to hear what's people have to say. I have to endure criticism to grow. Right now, Im still struggling with my style of wring, so grammatical errors, wrong use of words or other sorts are everywhere. Hontou ni gomen nasai! But thanks advance anyway!

JA NE~

_{(Really, everything is fleeting. One time I'm overly emotional and pessimistic, the next I'm hopeful and bright. Bipolar ba ito?! Wachatenk?)}

Last Wednesday, the shortly-planned photoshoot was conducted. The theme was "Visual Underground", as I call it. Pretty much inspired by VK artists of Japan. The location, model and photographer was in camaraderie during the whole session and I have much to say thanks to that. The lighting and the unexpectedly suitable plain wall plus the model (with her ensemble of clothing) jived in perfectely. It wasn't what was planned but we were satisfied.

I was satisfied with my work. I'll be posting some of the shots to my DA account and some will be posted by Mao. Please leave a comment! DOMO!

 

---

I don't want to leave UST, that's for sure. And for that, I must study hard!

 

But of course, these are all conveyed to words with passion but never enough action. I just need enough motivation. Everbody gets tired of playing around, maybe I will soon be falling on ground. Then I'd get back on my feet, dust myself and eventually get cleaned.

When I'm all clean and refreshed, then it will be a new day for me.

^^

It's nice seeing old pals. It really is.

 

---

Since I've been watching Nodame Cantabile these days, my attraction for classical music, especially towards the lovely, playful melody of the piano, has come again.

 

I noticed that the main actor for this dorama was the very same guy I was taking pictures of in NHK waaaay back before. I didn't know his name then, but I thought was a bishie anyway. And here we are meeting again! What a coincidence...or maybe it's fate!

MWAHAHAHA! Let Spring take us to a field of flowers~

 

At dahil na rin sa nasa-ikatlong baitang na ako ng kolehiyo, tila matinik at matarik ang daan na aking tutunguhin. Madaming pasiko't-sikot, tambay na matanong at alalay na makukulay. Kakaiba...makarating kaya ako sa patutunguhan?

In short, late na ito pero sige,
hahabol tayo!!! XD

---

Sobrang pasensiya na sa napaka-late na "con-report" na ito tungkol sa 6th Annual Toys, Hobbies and Collectibles Convention sa Megatrade Hall 1 and 2, sa Megamall.

Ang totoo niyan, ito yung una kong Toycon. Nga ba? Kasi may napuntahan kami na "toycon' noon, pero 'mini' lang. Counted kaya yon? Ah, basta! Enjoy!

Sa kasamaang palad, nasira ang mga plano ko ng pag-porma (kasi dito lang talaga ako nakaka-porma ng kung anong kakaiba) kasi may klase ako. Oo. May Sabado na ako ngayon na klase, kaya kung iisipin na bawat convention ay ginagawa kapag Sabado, aba. I-expect niyo na na may constant cosplayer ng AB student sa mga lugar na iyon, dahil tamad ako mag-dala ng pampalit ng damit. Ganoon lang ka-simple. Aba, kung di tatamarin eh di model! Mwahahaha!

Anyway, kasama ko si Nel at Mao papunta ng Megamall. Medyo hapon na din yoon kasi diretso lesson 1 yung prof ko sa Spanish. Hola, amigos amigas! nyahahaha! Putek, di ko alam na nakaka-delay pala ng palitan ng nerve messages sa utak ang Spanish. Leche, mukha talaga akong gago noon. Nakaka-ngarag na masaya. High, kung baga.

Sa kasamaang palad, wala si Mary kasi may pesteng bisita siya. Next time nalang, lagi namang may next time. NANA con? Hmmm... mag-uniform kaya ako uli? nyehehehe~

Bandang alas-sais na ata kami nakarating. Ang daming tao! Hindi naman mala-sardinas sa dami, kasi marami-rami na rin sigurong umuwi, pero madami pa ring tao. Ang basa ko kasi, kaya Sabado yaan, kasi maraming high school students ang audience, para walang pasok. At kaya din mas onto nalang yung tao kasi umuwi na yung mga high school! Tama ba ako? Eeeewaaaan....and so ayun nga, bumuli na kami ng ticket at pumasok.

Actually may nakita akong multo[-ng bakla] pero pumikit nalang ako para mawala yung image. Masyado kasing nakaka-kilabot eh! Tapos palibot-libot para maka-hanap ng puwesto na pwedeng panooran. Umpisa na kasi ng Cosplay, kaya kung wala kaming makikita, wala kaming ma-o-okray! No plot, no point, no meaning! Ay! Yaoi ba itoh! Nyahahah~ hindi nga. Ritwal na namin ni Mao yun eh. Ang kaso lang, maliit na nga ako, mas maliit pa yung kaibigan ko. Kaya yung mga higante sa harap, butas nalang yung naibigay sa amin na pansilip. Hanep, kamalas-malasan eh may pumatong pa sa monoblock nasa harap na nga siya! Sarap batuhin ng sapatos ang hanep! Buti nalang andyan si Nel na mas matangkad sa aming dalawa. Siya yung taga-kuha nung ibang cosplayer sa harap. Isa sa mga nakita ko (sa butas) eh yung Philippine Revolutionary Team! Grabeh, nakak-buhay ng dugo at pagka-makabayan yung cosplay na iyon! Hindi nga. Kahit lahat kami, Japanese enthusiast, nakaka-stir pa rin ng nationalistic pride at historical appreciation yung mga ganoong acts. Kahit short-lived sa stage, alam ko, you felt it man! Maaaa-buhay!!!

Panalo, diba?

Tapos lumabas yung Yojimbo cosplay ng FF10. Aynakakanangtetengyaaaaan! Astig!!! Ang nakakamangha kasi doon, ang laki noon. Siyempre di naman kasing laki nung sa orig pero ang laki niya pa rin tsaka mukha naman kopya eh. Pero ewan! Ang layo ko nga eh. Puro likod yung mas malaking tanaw ko.

_{ang cute niya noh? Asus, si Koya oh, kala siya kinukuhanan!}

Sa paglilibot namin, nakuhanan ko pa ng picture si Bok, yung cute na cartoon character sa Studio 23. May mga pictures na naka-exibit doon. PS contest at cosplay photography contest ata.

PS-ed: _{Sila yung mga nagustuhan kong pictures. Yung iba hindi ko alam kung anong medium yung ginamit basta astig! At nanggi-gigil ako kay Pikachu!}

_{Credit goes to their respective creators whom I was unable to take notice. gomen~} 

 

Cosplay on Pic:

_{Kabata-bata ng batang ire, andami ng projects! Hanep! Sa tingin ko siya din yung nag-Naruto chibi noon. Mukha namang enjoy siya! ^^}

Since "Toy, Hobbies and Collectibles" nga naman ang convention na iyon, madaming display ng mga laruan. Yung mga mamahalin at hindi naman actually binibenta dahil tanga ka kung ibebenta mo yung mga ganun ka-rare na mga bagay. Kaya ipagmamayabang mo nalang! Ang masaya kapag ikaw yung may-ari, may pleasure kapag nakikita mo na yung koleksiyon mo eh kina-iingitan. Oo, mayabang na! Pero totoo naman diba? O sige, mas positive: may hatid na kaligayahan sa mga sawing-palad. MWahahaha! Buti nalang mag-kasundo na talaga kami nung cybershot ko at magaganda naman yung mga na-kuhanan na picture. Malinaw at naka-macro. Goood.

_{Jayson and Alien
Sayang di umabot sa portrait shot ko yung hawak na ulo ni Jayson eh. Si Jack the Ripper (?). Yung alien na yan, san yan?}

 

_{"Patayin sa Sindak si Luke"
-mao
MWahahaha! Nung una yina-yaoi nila Aia at Mao ito eh. Since nagbi-bidyo ako ng lola-dance ko at nasa malayo, kala ko yaoi talaga kasi hina-heart pa nila! Anak ng tipaklong nung nakita ko si Yoda! I mean, I love Yoda, ang cute cute niya nung naging ass-kicking midget siya sa Star Wars Episode 3 (ata), pero 'x' with Luke? AAAAAAAAAHHH! xp} 

 

_{"Gays in Drag"
They all look so GAAAY. Okay. Giggolos. MWahahaha! Grabe, komportable sila talaga sa tights ha? O, bakit andyan si Zuma? ;p} 

 

_{Freaky.
Ano ba sila? Parang Jay Leno slash Bill Clinton slash Omen ang itsura ng hanep. They look really creepy. Try niyong biglang tingin kakatindig-balahibo...} 

 

_{Light x L
Makakawala ba sa mata ko yan?! At infairness naman ha, yung lighting ang ganda! Pati posisyon! KAMPEKI!}

 

Wala ako masyadong ma-kwento dahil nagbangagan lang kami buong mag-damag na nandoon kami sa loob at labas ng convention. Lalo na nung nakita namin si Aia sa may booth nila ate Hazel, ate Ria at ate Cat. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kami naging Power Puff Girls (kasi tatlo at sa kulay ng damit...) pero ang di ko matanggap ay ako si BUBBLES!

_{Matagal na rin kaming di nagkakasama-sama kaya yata sumobra sa high yung pagka-high namin. Labo noh?}

 

_{Cat Ria Hazel
Sa wakas na-bati ko na kayo! Sa pagka-high kumapal yung mukha ko! Nice meeting you mga bading~} 

 

 

 

 

Bago kami umuwi, pumunta muna kaming Jollibee (ehe-herm! HOlibi~) at nakita doon si Kienne at Kaoru. Kahit walang pasabi basta nakikita namin itong dalawang 'to! Nag-cosplay kasi sila ng Kyou Kara Mao kaso di ko naman masyadong nakita dahil sa mga nagsisilaparang likod nung mga barako sa harap ko! GRRR!

Pagkabili doon, bumuli ng CDs ni Mao sa Cyberzone. Dahil cam-whore mode yung mga kasama ko, bawat may makita ako na magandang background para sa picture, aba! Parang automatic na pumo-pose sa harap ng lens ko! Walang kurap-kurap, anduon na sila at nagpapa-kyut! Hala! NExt time kelangan ko na ng service charge! ICE CREAM! Pihado kung dumating yung "boypren" ni Nel na si Jowel, may mga yaoi-ish shots din ako dito. Nyehehehe~ ayus lang, basta maganda naman yung iba. At pang-DA pa!

_{Devilman and Nel
Sinong Uke at Seme sa inyo?} 

 

_{Robocop jealous of Devilman's affections for NEL? ACK!} 

 

_{Loko-loko lang kasi ang photographer at mga models na willing sumunod sa kalokohan ng photographer. Kahit loko-loko kami ginagalang po namin kung may spiritual value ang mga display na iyan at wag niyo po sana kaming ma-multo. Pero I like these shots! Parang sa Japan talaga! Come'on!}

 

_{Search for the next Crossini boy!} 

 

_{ano nga ba yung napag-tripan namin na yun? ni wala siyang mukha at salawal! hala!} 

 

_{Odd one out. Time starts...NOW!} 

 

siyempre kami yan! MWAHAHAHA! 

 

MWahahaha~ Tae, nakaka-pagod yung convention pero ang saya talaga! Dahil unang week palang naman ay bangag na ako sa researches, magandang pang-release stress ang mga ganyang pagsa-sama sama, hindi ba mga pards? At pasensiya na kung sobrang late na ng post na ito kasi nga bisi-bisihan ako sa klase. Lider-lideran pa. Hala ka diyan~

Till next con~ Sana makapuntang NANA con. Nyehe

---

 
Linggo.
Pagod pa rin kinagabihan at kulang sa tulog, buong araw ako inaantok.

Nung umaga, kailangan gumising ng maaga kasi magsisimba ng alas-diyes. Dapat pupunta pa ako sa bahay nila Mao kaso di na kinaya ng oras ko, kailangan pa pumunta ng Boni kasi mag-oonline tatay ko for Father's Day. Nawala sa isip ko at na-realize lang na naiwan ko pala si "Yeopgi ya" (mp3 player) na naka-bulantang sa may suklayan.

Dahil kinabukasan may biyahe ako papauntang Maynila (argh), hindi pwedeng hindi ko kasama yung panganay ko. Kasi siya yung nag-a-assist sa class A visitors ko: TVXQ, Sugao Shikao, Bach, Chopin, Vivaldi, Tchaikovski, Beethoven at iba pa... kaya kahit ginigisa na ako sa ilalim ng araw, bumalik pa ako sa bahay imbes na diretso na ako ng sakay ng jeep galing simbahan, paksiyet!

Pagdating ng bahay, wala naman pala si Daddy kasi nangapit-bahay sa kaibigan niya, tapos iniwan na ako nila Tita papuntang Megamall kasi ang tagal ko! Andami ko pa namang papabili! Tapos inaantok pa rin ako! Tapos nanood ng Nodame Cantabile ulit tapos inaantok pa rin ako~ Yung USB cord ni Yeopgi ya ayaw tanggapin nung lecheng PC sa bahay kaya di ko na-upload yung pictures at di rin ako maka-update sa con at humabol pa yung magkakasulat ng malas-counterpart na araw na ito nung masayang Toycon! HMP! Nalaman ko pa na magkaiba yung lumalabas na searches sa admin limewire at guest limewire (account ko). Gyar.

9.30 ng gabi natulog na ako, kasi non-stop na yung paghikab ko.

Pakiramdam ko babagsak nalang ako bigla.
Di na ako nanood ng PBB at hinayaan na hugasan sa kuya ko.

---

Lunes.
Extension ata 'to nung malas-day.
Pinagalitan ako ng tita ko pagdating niya ng bahay kasi di daw ako nag-hugas ng pinggan. Eh yung kuya ko buong hating-gabi gising, di man lang nag-kusang akuin yung trabaho! Ay peste talaga!

May ka-adikan kasi talaga ako sa mga dorama kaya kapag nagustuhan ko sila, kailangan tuloy-tuloy. Napapaginipan ko pa sila, parang humihingi ng hustisiya na wag ko na bitinin yung sarili ko. May 12 PM appointment ako sa mga ka-grupo ko noon, pero tinapos ko yung tatlong natitirang episode nung Nodame Cantabile. Satisfying naman eh! Mwahahaha~ na-text ko sila Mark para inform na ma-le-late si lidershii at patawarin ako. hyukhyuk.

Sarap panoorin ng Nodame Cantabile. Para kang nanonood ng concerto at anime at the same time. Yung elements of gag na makikita mo lang sa anime (yung namumuti na mata kasi nawala yug kaluluwa sa pagkadismaya o shock, yung lumilipad na literal kasi nasipa o sinampal, yung puso na lumalabas sa gilid ng ulo kapag na-love struck) nahalo nila ng maayos sa live-action! Nyehehe~ at pamatay ang classical music na featured! I recommend it~

Yun yung magandang part ng araw ko eh. Since late na ako, magpi-print pa ako ng research at bibili sa tindahan ng papel (kasi di sila bumili ng rim nung bumili sila ng printer, shets), makakita ng mama na may suot na GLAY T-SHIRT, magulat, pawisan at ma-peste sa pinsan kong pa-sosi! Pag-sakay ko ng jeep, traffic! sobrang traffic! Ni wala akong maalalang moment na humarurot yung jeep na yun. Kainis!!!

May bus ako na sinasakyan na mura lang at mabilis pa. Sobrang swerte mo na kapag na-tiyempuhan mo yung mga bus na yun. Luma na sila, parang pang old-Manila pa yung itsura pero diretso na sila ng UST, Divisoria at iba pa. Tapos may discount pa yung bayad. Mabilis, mahangin. Okay talaga. Minsan di ko na mahintay yung bus na 'to. Kasi last time, 30 minutes na akong naghihintay wala pa rin at halos di na ako umabot sa enrollment dahil dun ha! Nung araw na ito, nakita ako nung kapit-bahay naming mabait at maganda. Feeling ko anghel siya kasi biglang dumating yung bus! Eh, ewan ko. Ganun yung feeling eh~

Sa kagandahang palad, napatawad naman ako ng mga ka-grupo ko. Wala man masyadong nangyari sa planong pag-uusapan may nagawa naman ako para sa ibang assignment. Mas okay na rin pala minsan na na-se-seclude ka sa mga lugar na wala kang ibang gagawin kung hindi kung anong dinidikta ng dingding: MAG-ARAL.

---

Martes.
Pumasok ako ng maaga. Maaga talaga. 8:30 AM ang pasok ko ala-una.
Madami pa kasi akong babasahin para sa report namin nung hapon na iyon. Ayos naman, may nagawa. naka-pag-discuss.

Okay ang non-fiction kaso mali yung kopya nung essay namin. Medyo nangatog ako sa on the spot essay pero naka-survive.
Walang kwenta pa rin ang stats. Kasi SIYA uli. Lintik na yan.
Poetry. Naging maayos ang report. GOOOOD~

May rebelasyong nangyari.
AWOOOOOOO~ ^^V

---

Miyerkules.

UWIAN NAAAA!!!!
WALANG PASOK!!!! WOHOOOOO!!!!

Pasensiya na sa magulong pag-sulat. Nata-tae ako eh.

I slept really late. Around 4 o'clock I think. All the while I was simply updating my blog and loading pages with a lot of pictures. Thank god it wasn't hot last night so I was comfortable in the corner of our little room with my 7 year old, Sampo (desktop PC).

Sleeping late plus the fact that I don't have school today only means relaxing and getting as much sleep as I want. My new schedule has been oppressing me of proper sleeping hours and frankly, I'm still not feeling the new life in school. Maybe because I took summer classes for a month that I feel as though my vacation was not enough. These week I've met all my teachers and they are pretty okay. Although I feel the pressure is weighing for we're handling harder subjects now that we're in the third year of major.

I really really need that motivation. I need to find a goal or something. I just can't think of any right now that would stir my spirit up. I remember when I was in elementary, I used to always think that I can't let my brother leave me behind, for my brother is quite good in school. Since we always used to fight, I really hated him. To the point that I wanted to deny our relationship as siblings. I really did hate him, but of course that was when we were kids. However, it helped me study. I wanted to be better than him. In recognitions, in grades, in activities, everything! Perhaps that was my way of sulking, maybe my revenge. Another time when I was really motivated of a goal was when I was in second year of high school. My dad promised me to buy a Playstation 2 if I place 5th or higher in our class ranking that quarter. I really wanted a PS2 so every time I'm getting tired of studying, I would look at the previous class ranking posted inside our classroom wall and think that I need to see my name there next quarter or I'll never get to play Final Fantasy 10! It sounds geeky and childish but I achieved my goal!

You see? Now I really need something that would start me running...

Anyways! Good news!
Miraculously, the keyboard keys (I K , *) that mysteriously stopped functioning to Dante suddenly worked again! And I was even getting ready to ask someone to fix it for me~ weird... but I'm glad it's working again! I'm even typing this very text you're reading in Dante! WEEEEE!!!

Then the Bad news...
Rose Ann told me that there will be a movie for L of Death Note?!
Honestly, I don't like it. I know that L has become a very popular character but if the movie reveals his background, then he wouldn't be L anymore! His mysterious profile is his character and isn't it that DN projected him that way so that there will be space for the readers for imagination?
Argh!
Okay fine, I haven't read the whole manga yet (I stopped in Chapter 52 for some reason) but really, I hope L remains just the smart, sweet-loving, insomniac, cute guy that he is. Ne?

Como estas?
Bien, gracias...

Pathetic, but this simple Q & A is the only one I'm really familiar with. I mean, I know it in my mind, but when I have to use it in a conversation, my brain cells suddenly fails me. It's even more frustrating that I grew up with a background of a Filipino culture, infused with a lot of cultures, particularly the Spanish culture and the language is focal.

Is it the professor?

Is it the cold room?

Is it the silence?

*sigh*

Well, it is still a foreign language and as our prof tells us, we have zero knowledge of anything about it. But at last I'm feeling the weight of the challenge for I want to be good at this. My name might come last next week when the results of first quiz comes out, but I'll take it as a pressure to be better in the future.

After what seems like an eternity, it was time to go home. Akie and I headed to Shangri-la mall to watch this year's Eiga Sai. At 5 o'clock,the movie was supposed to start, however, after finding ourselves nearing Philcoa, a good amount of minutes was added to my calculated time of arrival. In short, we're late.

I was surprised to see the number of people scattered on the cinema lobby of the mall. Last year, when we watched 9 Souls, it was totally different! This year, there's even a line for the next showing which is 7 o'clock! I told Akie that we should just go since there weren't any tickets left to watch Kamikaze Girls, but she wanted to get a brochure. Suddenly, I heard someone calling me. It was Aia.

She was with her friend and I also saw ate Cat and ate Hazel there with their friends, just back from a photo shoot. We saw a line in front of the cinema reserved for the festival but we didn't mind it first. Good thing Aia's nosiness sometimes get us to good places, we got inside! I think we missed 30 minutes of the movie, but the good parts were just to be unfolded. Soon ate cat's group, together with ate Ria was inside too.

Okay, even if I want to make proper movie review, I just can't at the moment. So I'm going to present a quick-write for it. There will be code-switchings and I may sound like rambling, but that is the nature of quick-writing. Just putting into words anything that comes to mind. But I'll try to sound coherent for you guys~

It wasn't the same from what I imagined. I think the picture in the brochure really crafted the movie in my mind but it wasn't! Apart from knowing the two heroines are worlds apart in their fashion and life, I didn't know that much of it would contain comedy and picture of the eastern living in Japan. I don't think that they are in the city, because there weren't too much commercial places showed and Momoko's house looked quite far from them. Akie commented that the cinematography is similar to a CM since the director handled commercials before the movie project. The humor is very Japanese. Dead-pan, maybe? I don't know how to describe it, but I appreciated it after watching several Japanese gag shows. Each culture has their own appeal of humor so I understand if it's not appreciated by everybody. Plainly, I guess it's about friendship and finding yourself, in the most unexpected way. Fashion here, plays a major role since it represents each character. Not only with Momoko and Ichigo, but also applies to the grandmother who has an eye-patch and which I think was an old biker gang member; Momoko's boss whom I will pressume is gay and wears lavishly printed clothing to represent his creative self as a designer/artist; and perhaps even her father who is happy with him self wearing shorts and shirts, saying that he's simple, maybe? Momoko is the lolita: she isn't gothic, she's the "Alice in Wonderland" slash strawberry slash Victorian maid lolita. Or maybe just about anything that will make her look like a little girl. Some of her dresses appealed to me, but it was the frills and laces and too much pink in the screen that made my eyes almost teary. I like lolitas, but I can never be one. It's interesting to say that the movie justified how a lolita thinks. Now I'm thinking, is there a principle behind it? I mean, to be one, you have to think like one, is it? It was quite ironic for some of the dialogues to be comming from Momoko. Like, being alone until she dies and saying twisted which is totally contrary to her sweet, innocent image. Meanwhile, Ichigo is the tough chick. I like her Yakuza accents but at first it sounded strange for me that such a Caucasian-looking female speaking with an accent. The "R" was certainly stretched. Well, she's really pretty. She looks almost androgynous and there was really a friction between her and Momoko. At a point when they were getting closer to each other, I thought will unfold to be a lesbian film, but it didn't. Another ironic thing about this character is, although she is tough and rough (it's the spit, man!), she can be really caring and shy at some point. What I mean to say is, although their fashion may project their kind of image, but it may not certainly point that it is THEM. Sometime ago, I learned that clothing is a good thesis topic since it tackles human psychology and representation to society. From my point of view, fashion is not simply an ensemble of clothes and accessories, but it may sell you or cover you. In other terms, it may represent your emotion, your principles or even your values by the type of clothes you wear or even the color you choose. On the other hand, it may serve as cover: literally in you-know-what sense and connotatively speaking, to hide who you are or to serve as facade. I think the turning point of Momoko and Ichigo's relationship was when they got into a bit of argument while looking for the embroider Emma to work on Ichigo's coat. Suddenly it started raining and watching Momoko look worried of the other's feelings, I thought, she changed or she's about to. If she runs in the rain then I'm right, it was symbolic. Then it happened. Momoko hates her dress getting ruined. In that sense, any kind of change in the original look means ruining the whole motif. If she runs in the rain, letting herself get soaked--her dress--then it was like saying: maybe I'll try a new look tomorrow. And water is a cleansing agent, an archetype in literature which is often used for purifying or change. Over all, I think this is a good movie. It wasn't that grand, but it certainly was not a waste of time. More than the visuals offered, it has values to offer and comedy to make you laugh.

*pew*

I hope that wasn't so bad. In relation to my title, I just feel like in the median of two different cultures today. Obviously, those are Spanish and Japanese then I am a Filipino. Surprisingly, I read that Japanese has a mixture of Korean, Chinese and Malay race which we are descended from. So can I safely say that we are of the same blood? Only a centuries away? Errr. Never mind.

Adios!