Kiwi

...the wait continues.

Oh come'on people. Admit it, you miss my senseless posts, my rants, ME. Well, let me apologize for that. I'm honestly busy these days. No, not because of Yaoi or any anime (okay, I jump to them for comfort and strenght, lalo na kapag puyatan, masama bah?!) but because of SCHOOL. Yes, the slave-drivers are at it again. I'm suffering one hellava time discoursing with my brain that it's not right shutting down in the middle of war.

Though I have to admit that I envy my blogmates who have the time and gives effort fixing their layout, if only I have that kind of devotion... I'd be much much more happier living this life. This is my first post for this month, and what do you know! It's September 1, hello there! I also want to say sorry for those people I wasn't able to greet and dedicate a special post to for their special day, and 'those people' includes my papas, ha? You know who you are. *wink*

Recently the library is fast becoming my bestfriend. Not just because of the free internet (although I hate it that they blocked Youtube, paksiyet!), but because the books are proving to be more helpful and informative that the world wide web. Requires more effort, yes, but certain. I remember the first time I searched for a book in Central Library, (oh god, make me stop with the reminiscing. Gutom na nga ako) I don't know what's the purpose of LORENZO, how it will help me or how to find a book with the numbers and letters they are presenting me! Haha! I used to ask the librarians to find the books for me. It's their job, right? Oh well, that was back last year in the start of school. When I still didn't look so notorious walking the halls of Central but idiotically looking at signboards that will lead me to my destination. Back then the only floor I know was the Social Sciences floor. Poor me. You ask I any better now? YES I AM. How's that?

It's true that the more you aquire knowledge, the greater your sin is. A book that Mao lended me reminded me of this fact---or atleast what the catholic teaching says. I don't know if I am gradually developing into an atheist, because I hope not. I still believe in a higher being however what the church teaches us and the culture that I grew up to, binded in catholic practices, I'm slowly... hating. Naiipokritohan ako. It's true.

Human foibles is starting to fascinate me in an unexplainable pleasure. I signed up as a student uncertain of her course and in dire need of counceling. When I got the chance to chat with an old friend of mine whom is taking Social Pyschology, the desire to learn those things aroused my interest again. I don't know if I'll shift or just take the course after Lit. I'm still thinking things over. This is a big descision. And I hope to see good results from the Interest and Career exam the guidance will give us.

I'll be joining this year's USTETIKA and I certainly want to win. The deadline is nearing, 4 days, and no progress. 0%. Poor me. Now I'm getting discourage wether I'm still fitting to be a writer. So you see why I'm getting confused now? There's just alot of things roaming inside my head. Abstract ideas. Our lesson in poetry thought us that we should concretize abstract ideas, and put it to writing, but I'm not doing either of the two, so I'm stuck in a trance. Asking for answers I'm not seeking.

Woah! It's 7 o'clock! Gotta split! Chow! 

Para sa asignaturang Filipino ay nanonood kami ng isang dula na pinagamatang Walang Himala: Isang Maikling Kasaysayan ng Resureksiyon.

Nung una, hindi ko maintindihan kung tungkol saan ang dula. Basta ang alam ko ay malaki ang kinalaman ng wika sa sinasalamin ng dula. Hindi dahil sa yoon ang alam ko, kundi kasi tungkol doon yung asignment namin. Parang engot ba? Pero ganun talaga ako mag-isip eh. Sa kinahabaan ng pagpapalabas, diskurso, dayalogo at monologo, sa EDSA rin pala ang pagbubukold ng mga tauhan. Katulad ng nangyari noong 1986, kung saan nasaksihan ng buong mundo ang isang kakaibang rebolusyon. Na nakapag-patalsik ng isang diktador, nagbuklod at nagbigay-pugay sa isang malayang bansa.

Habang umaawit ang mga aktor at sa kanilag likod ay pinapalabas ang ilang footages mula sa panahon na iyon, isang pagnanais na bumalik sa nakaraan, sa panahon ng EDSA Revolution, at makisama sa kasaysayang ipinagmamalaki at ipinagdidiwang maging sa kasalukuyan ang nanaig sa akin. Gusto kong malaman kung anong pakiramdam na maging isang bayani ng hindi napapatay o gumagamit ng dahas; gusto kong malaman kung anong pakiramdam ng malaman ng mga tao na nagtagumpay sila; gusto kong maging isa sa mga tao sa EDSA na tumatalon sa tuwa, umiiyak at nagpapasalamat sa Diyos dahil sa kalayaang nakamit. Gusto kong bumalik sa nakaraan kung saan minsan naging isa ang mga Pilipino.

Kinilabutan ako dahil sa ganda ng aking napanood. Sa kahalagahang aking natutunan, sa galing ng mga gumanap, sa ganda ng pagkakaganap. Dahil Pinoy na Pinoy. Dahil ang sining ay buhay. Ang kultiura. Ang Pilipino. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam.

Mabuhay ang mga alagad ng Sining!

At OO, isa ka na doon.

^^

Naniniwala ako sa Karma.

Tinatamaan ako ng Karma.

Pero di ako takot sa Karma.

At ito ang nangyayari sa akin...

Minsan kasi ang bilis. Bumubulusok. Sa isang iglap babalikan ka ng malas, dahil sa mali mong ginawa. Sadya. Yun ang masakit. Makasalanan ka pa. 

Alam mo, pero wala kang pakielam. Puro palusot. Puro pasarap.

Tulad kanina.

Masama ba kung hindi ako magkumpisal dahil alam kong gagawin at gagawin ko rin yung mga kasalanan ko? O kaya di ka mag-komunyon sa misa, kasi nga di ako naka-simba kahapon? Hmm...siguro kasi mapanghusga ako. Siguro.

Kamalasan.

Ayan na sila. Una, nanenok yung payong ko (para sa di pamilyar sa tagalog slang, ang "nenok" ay nakaw). Singkwenta na nga lang na payong eh, mawawala pa. Alam ko naman na maganda siya kung titignan, pero pang-ambon lang yun! Di yun pang-bagyo. Pucha naman, gagastos nanaman ako ng pera! Walang hiya talaga oh. Tapos, umulan pa ng napaka-lakas! Parang tumae lang ang langit pagtapos ng isang linggo, sa lakas ng ulan. May kasama pang-ire yan, kumikidlat eh. Buti nalang andyan yung isa kong kaklase, nakipayong ako. Kaso basa pa rin eh. Basang-basa. Kung di ka pa minamalas, yung paa ko ang sakit, squeeshy pa. yuck. leche. leche. leche. Tapos pag-uwi mo, lalayasan ka ng border. Pag-harap mo sa PC, trabaho pa rin. Walang pahinga. 

Ay hindi, karma ko nga pala yan.

While literaly falling off my seat because of cramming for projects, instead of bleeding to death, one personal death prevention methods I've come up with is....QUIZZES!

I know my classmates take these quizzes, so enjoy!

*most of them taken from MAO's blog.

 

You Should Be a Poet

You have a way with words... and a talent for drawing the pure emotions out of experiences. Your poetry has the potential to make people laugh and cry at the same time. You just need to write it!

_{aaaahhh~ I'm not even that fond of poems! This is the 3rd time I got this result for a job.}

 

You Are 24 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

_{aww... I like being a kid. ^^}

 

You Are 46% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

_{ahohoho...world domination...ring bells in my ears...nyehehehe....}

 

You Are Milk Pocky

Your attitude: caring and charming Smooth and silkly... invigorating and natural. You are like comfort food for the soul.

_{I've been told to be understanding, friendly and carefree. Well, I so suit this pocky. Though I haven't eaten this flavor yet...I'm sure it's yummy!}

 

You Are 40% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

_{Wow...most of them are true! I'd like to have a full basement of my own and I am a little too inclined with my sanitizer. And OH YES, I love my reflection. Who else would?}

 

Who Should Paint You: Gustav Klimt

Sensual and gorgeous, you would inspire an enchanting portrait.. With just enough classic appeal to be hung in any museum!

_{Aba siyempre, any Empress is entitled a space in any museum. *smirk*}

 

You Are 45% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

_{Hehehe...so true.}

 

You Are 60% Obsessive

You're somewhat obsessive, especially when it comes to a couple things (like horrifying thoughts or cleanliness). As long as your quirks aren't interrupting your life, it's all good.

_{Yup. I don't like cleaning, swear, but when I see too much clutter in our room or a piece of paper that should be in a near trash can, I HAVE TO do something!}

 

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge. In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead! And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in. Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

_{I think somebody cried over one of my sarcastic remarks and I almost lost a friend just because of how I delivered the lines. -_-"}

And this is my current deviantart stat. I love it. ^^

<sub>miyuchi has 1,075 pageviews total and her 65 deviations were viewed 1,199 times. She watches 32 people, while 28 people watch her.

Overall, her deviations received 554 comments and were added to deviants' favourites 19 times, while she commented 770 times, making about 1.47 comments per day since she joined DA. This means that she gave 14 comments for every 10 that she received.

Her deviation with the most comments is Hubad na Maskara with 47 comments, receiving an average of 3.35 per day in the first 2 weeks, while her most favourited one is Misteryo, with 3 favourites, averaging 0 per day in the first 2 weeks. Her most viewed deviation is vinatge drawing with 75 views.

0 favourites were given for every 10 comments.

Every 8 days she uploads a new deviation, and it's usually on a Monday, with 14 (22%) of her deviations.

Her busiest month was February 2006 with 9 (14%) of her deviations.

The majority of her deviations are uploaded to the Photography gallery (22), while her favourite category was Photography > Conceptual with 9 deviations.

Comments per deviation: 8.52
Favourites per deviation: 0.29
Views per deviation: 18.44
Comments per day: 1.05
Favourites per day: 0.03
Views per day: 2.29
Pageviews per day: 2.05</sub>

*Continues to swoon over Jun Hirano*

*kilig* 

It's not right to get angry.

     No it's not.

But I have the right, right?

I should.

        But I can't.

I want to speak. Because I can.

         don't have the voice.

I feel clogged. Caged. Bitten down with my skull cracked and feeling cold air penetrade the tissues. Blood gushing out while pests devour my flesh.

_{I see two guys touching...oh...go on.}

Bitch.

Coward.

IDIOT.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

_{I wont forgive. Yes I will. No I won't. Forgive.}

_Forgive.

_No.

_Give---

    _{a chance?}

_{Fuck you.}

I AM A CONTRADICTION.

Help.

The previous post is caused by an unfamiliar rage that dared trespass within my premises. Since I am one of the many people who's in love with binary opposites, let me now narrate the "joyful" part of my day.

 

L'Arc~en~Ciel Convention

 

I think this is the first? Or I don't know. No, I think not. What the heck, it's the first for me.

Anyways, around 3:30, Mao and I headed to PhilCoa to meet Aia at Jollibee (haha! snatched a pin! domo~).

_{Eee~ they look so street. Love. They remind me of the Harajuku fashion pictures I was gathering earlier in the library. I also like dressing up like that, but I am in love with the camera too!}

 
At 4 o'clock, we're heading to Bahay ng Alumni aboard a bitchy driver's jeepney. I don't know what in the fucking world is his problem, because I have my own issues and I'm not tripping him with my anger.

Jerk.

We got off the rusting vehicle, cursing the driver. We're not really mean kids, but people just loooove to push us over. Well damn it, you jerks are getting plenty of expletives from us. Oh yes sireeey. Hah!

 

_{BAHAY NG ALUMNI
UP Campus, Quezon City} 

 

I saw Akki and her friend, on the stairs outside the venue, mingle, giggle, and laugh a little before we head on inside. As expected, there weren't so many people---yet. But I guess this will prove to be true as there wasn't really alot of fans that attended, unlike an anime convention. There really wasn't much that happened. Since we arrived too late for the cosplay competition, I guess the only highlight of the con for me are the bands! Oh yeah! We saw Sakura and Shuichi costripping as gothic slash victorian couple. Well, there two are so cute, too bad I wasn't able to take a picture. Oh well.

To make it brief...

 _{They gave us free e-aiji snack, which is the first in conventions}

 

 _{There was a fan-art contest. The work we voted for won. Yey. That's no.5}

 

 _{TOMASINOtaku was there. Err..hello ex-org! The ever young and master of all,        RG-sama continues to sell his anime merchandises.}

 

 

 

 

 ^{These two bands covered mostly j-pop. Though I was really thrilled because the second group sang "WISH" by ARASHI with matching dance moves. Woo~ these three also sang in Ai no Hi, where I fell in love with "ENRAI" by Do as Infinity when they covered it.}

 

 

 

 _ROTSCHRECK

_{If you're wondering why the pictures are all focused on the vocalist, well, we are guilty of the intention. Well, we did try to give the whole band some squeeky fan-girl screams, but damn it, Lu Ciel (Voc) is too hot! Ahahay~ I din't like him before because he looks rather pale and boney, but his long, soft, black hair suits his face this time. He's tall, seems friendly with the crowd and sounds *goosebumps* so much like Kyo. Well, what do you expect from a cover band of DEG, but he can! He can! Hindi pilit! AAAAAHHHH!!! I'd love to watch them perform again. Next con, pare ha?}

 

After Rotschreck, we headed home because we are all nervous of the time That was already 9:30 and I really didn't give a proper note on where I am at home. We bid our good-byes to Akie and her friends, and also to Riza whom I had just met for the first time in person. While waiting for the jeep to PhilCoa, we saw "emo" boy and company approaching our direction. They greeted us nicely and even called us "ate". Hmm, I guess they've noticed us, since there weren't so many people left when the bands were playing already and us being so bouncy, squeeky and soooo fan-girly, there's nothing left to do but give us a good glare. Ha-ha. And I was constantly taking pictures of them behind their backs, maybe they saw me...ohhhh.

Who were the fan-girls?

 

 

 

 Uh, yeah... I know. STOP STARING. *smirk*

Inside the bus on the way home, there were 3 guys, whom also came from the convention. If there was a device measuring who's talking louder, we would've decalred war for victory. Hah! Hmm...got to admit I like the middle guys hair. Or no, wait, I want to snatch his hair and make it my wig! Tse. Guys with cool hairs. He sort of reminds me of Jhed.

Since my stop is Boni while it's Guadalupe for Aia and Mao, I spotted this cute face on the dirty old wall beside the unknown mouths next to us.

 

So cute, ne? I think a light fell off and the holes made it look like a face. Aww~

I hope my two companions made it alive and safe from the fury of their worried parents, like me, whom got a good scolding from my mom all the way from Makati, and the possible continuation tomorrow from my Tita and oniichan.

Haay~ Happiness is fleeting. After such a great time at the con, I'll gave to worry about school again.

Argh!