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miyuchi
Makati, Philippines

About

A floating entity that has no where to go but in front of the TV or her computer. Indulges in daily activities not relatively connected to her course. A natural sloth. Makes a living out of sniffing lighted matches and blowing immediately to shout “happy birthday” in the most bizarre way. Collects books only to stack them in a corner or to use the thickness of it to kill her enemies—the cockroach.Dreams of selling pirated CDs one day, like her idols, in Quiapo. Smiles psychotically and laughs like there’s no tomorrow. Take note, she does this ALONE. Loves talking to a friend named “Chona” which cannot be seen by the naked eye.

Links

 
May 17, 2012

Who would you be for a day?


miyuchi

My topics are probably very boring but bear with me. Some of these ideas are worth pondering on once in a while (but if it's a full moon, seize it!). 

So I was watching an episode of GLEE yesterday afternoon. The second to the last episode of Season 3 had Tina dreaming of being Rachel since they had this small row about getting solos in the club. Tina said she wanted to experience being Rachel even for one day, just to know how good it feels to have 'the spotlight and having that standing ovation she [Rachel] is so used to'. After the strange body-switch dream, Tina sort of understood more about Rachel. When you think about it, we so often wish we were in somebody else's shoes once our lives are in a slump. 
I never really gave that much thought on whose life I want to take over for at least 25 hours (I know 24 hours is the established number for a day, but an incident of body-switching is beyond the normal and possible anyway, so let me get away with the added hour). It can't be just anybody, right? So here's a list:
1. A famous person: Benedict Cumberbatch 

Most probably I am very biased at the moment since I fancy him beyond the rainbows and possibility of unicorns, but I swear my reason is valid. 
He's handsome but he doesn't even find himself as one so that also counts as being down to earth. Being a celebrity and a very celebrated one at that (and when you also find him hot and charming), he is wanted by everybody. Of course, being lusted would be an understatement, both by men and women. If I were him I'd used that chance to explore both of my options, if you know what I mean? Meanwhile, he has covered the stage, television, and the silver screen so who wouldn't want to take a picture of him and with him? He's a sure money in the bag and the man probably receives more scripts and fanmails than bills. Benedict is very good at his craft as an actor and he's respected for it by his peers and co-workers.  Incredibly smart being educated in a good school, well read in the classics and highly appreciating of the arts (tell me what goes on in a head whose turning point was reading "Catcher in the Rye". Me? I got confused). He belongs to a rich but humble family as his parents were both actors in their day.  For a man who picked sex over money is probably very good, very experienced in bed. His natural voice is velvety but he can command it to suit his characters in his readings and radio dramas. Not to mention, he can speak English with various accents. As a claimed gentleman with a large understanding of the world, he has taught foreign children English, and would probably be a full-time philanthropist given the right time in the future. 
Most of my dreams are his realities so why wouldn't I take the chance of being him even for one day?)
2. A character from a movie/TV or animation series: Niles (The Nanny)

Aside from his incredible mastery of sarcasm, Niles is very skillful at his job. Hey, who wouldn't want to be skillful with once's work and be incredibly sarcastic and loved for it, right? He works as a butler and housekeeper but probably I'm underpaid compared to his paycheck. Loyal to the Sheffield family, they are also very loyal to him and would, by any means, keep him even if other millionaires are after him. He has his own family but the family he serves for treats him no less. He's not serving the world at large but he cleans bathrooms and scrubs floors for a living, but he seems totally content at what he does. He doesn't eat with the family he serves but seems very satisfied seeing the family happy with his cooking, so he keeps it a point to always put palatable dishes on the dining table. He's single yet knows how to get a good shag during his day off. Proves this old guy is actually quite the charmer in his own light. 
Given all these descriptions, I'd love to be Niles even for a day. Hopefully though, he's not scheduled to clean the bathroom when I take over.  
3. A person you know and admire / a famous person in history whose belief in life contrast to yours: My mother

 


 

Since I'm not a history fan nor do I particularly like to dig deep into beliefs of others (complicated, please), I picked somebody usually just a floor beneath me: MAMOY! 
I lack proper words to express how much I love my mother. We communicate well enough, but there are some details we never talk about; some details that I think she'll never share unless I go straight to her about it. Supposedly, I take after my mother. Supposedly, I should agree and I think I do because I notice it. We can be both chatterboxes given the right topic (something we are interested in or something we know very well), mood and food. Yet most of the time, I don't know what goes on in her head and I get frustrated. Some of my questions are actually unimportant now, but there has always been a void in my family history that I to clear up. 
If I become mom for a day, I want to think of the past. I want to know how much love she felt for my father since she never talks about him, unless I bring him up in the conversation. Most of the time it's always the same silly stories, never the romantic ones. Though I guess since she and my father became estranged, it would be a bit not good to think about the happy past. Also, I want to know why they really separated. When I was much younger, I asked my dad why he and mom separated, he asked me to ask my mom. When I went to my mom to ask, she gave me this uninterested look and told me to ask my father. Obviously, they were avoiding the topic (maybe the wound was still fresh that time?) but hello? I am part of the family! I wonder if I ask now, would they give me an honest answer? I didn't want to ask my relatives back then because they have their prejudices and I wanted straight answers. Too bad I was more gutsy when I was kid. Now I'm not so sure if I can handle the truth. The answer is probably something ugly about my mom or my dad or probably both of them so the marriage didn't work out. So if ever I become mom for a day, I'd want to relieve that memory and get myself answers.
I also want to understand why she never remarried. My mother is beautiful, witty, smart, and really friendly so it's impossible nobody asked her hand after that period with my father. She assured us that she made us, her kids, her sun in the center of her universe but I wonder, doesn't she ever get lonely? Yes, I'm always there to hug and kiss her and cuddle like a five-year old, but I think I can only do so much to make her happy. A woman has her own needs, so how does she push that aside? By watching TV? Drowning in coffee? Doing the laundry? I don't get it. I was a bit more possessive of my mom in the past, but now I want to assure her that I would never get offended if she gets a boyfriend (hopefully not as young as I am) before me. I also want to understand how a mother loves her child. It's still a long road ahead of me before I become a mother, but right now I'm just so curious. 
My mom is the most awesome person in the world for me, it's no question I'd love to walk a mile in her shoes even for a day. 

 

ヽ(゜▽、゜)ノ

 

 

 

Posted by miyuchi on May 17, 2012 at 11:18 PM | help?
May 10, 2012

Bean and the old days


miyuchi

I know there's a long list of movies I must see before I die and as a fan of films of various genre, (though I really stay away from horror for the sake of my own sanity and just to keep the lid of my paranoia tightly sealed) I should oblige myself to the deed, but I think I just don't have enough time.
I can say that I have seen a fair amount of films, especially for the past two months of being a homebody, I just have the abundance of time to pop in a movie or two within my very steady day. 
However, my taste in films coordinates with my general taste for everything. I don't bother to follow what is new or hip, I realize long after that they are actually cool when the rest of the universe cannot be bothered anymore to turn their backs and see the 'new' thing I found. 
In short, I'm not a fan of the mainstream. Well, not so much I suppose because I still get bothered to check them out if they ever reach me. I'm not locking my doors to anything, unfortunately, I just really move at my own phase. 
I get interested in things which to my standard has become interesting. I presume I don't view the world as interesting even if it's presented to me in a such a way that everybody is screaming praises about it and I'm already being branded with hot iron as 'bland', 'ignorant' or 'blind' as I wouldn't acknowledge it. 
Unless, I am persuaded. 
I'm fairly simple to persuade given you know the right buttons to press. Stubbornness is also one of my secret qualities, though I won't impose it on people;  others usually notice it in due time and they leave me in my own world, thank you very much. Though mixing these two characteristics together awfully delivers me into a state of confusion easily, as well.
Uhm, where was I again? I believe I was chattering away about myself again there. Err, backpedal to the topic of films, old films to be exact.
I'm thankful for my parents to be loving of Hollywood films and American programs as I think I owe my proficiency in English due to constant exposure to these materials. While my knowledge in English is not highly technical, I was able to start a short career in ESL because I can talk with a discernible accent and able to converse away. On the other hand, I'm not sure I understood everything that I was exposed to when I was younger. 
I remember my father watching The Godfather one afternoon and an invitation to snuggle on his arms was opened to me and I was very, very welcomed to watch the violence with him. I recall staying for a few minutes until the film got boring for me and I left my father to his viewing pleasure. Now that I think about it, perhaps watching The Godfather might be a good idea now as I would finally understand why the characters on TV were so keen on firing bullets—at each other. 
There was also this funny and a little bit squirmy incident one night when my mom and I was idly browsing the channels for a good program. She stopped midway in pushing the remote button when the drama's title The Bold and the Beautiful flashed before us. I quite recall my mom's eyes twinkling with curiosity while I argue (as much as I could, I was 10) that she should not watch it as it was not good for me! For a ten-year-old, the word "bold" was scandalous and browsing the dictionary was tedious. Anyhow, my mother, as always, got her way and told me to bugger off to sleep, of course as gently as she could; cooing me to not mind the title while explaining as much as she could that the title had nothing to do with naked people. It turns out there really was no "bold" in the drama, no naked people, just "bold" as in aggressive characters who constantly make out, make it a habit to steal each other's lovers or destroy each other's lives while sparing a room—and time—to have coffee or dinner once in a while before they are at each other’s throats again. 
Hah, amusing. 
Why are those American afternoon dramas seem to be always in a dream-like photo filter? Everyone and everything glows, shot with a vintage camera and taken inspiration from a Dianna? 
Well, anyway. Recently I've completed the download of The Nanny episodes, spanning of four seasons. I still have seasons 5-6 to hunt on the internet when I get the time. It seems kinda stupid that I am so in love with this show now (starting two years ago when I was able to catch reruns in the Hallmark Channel) when I thought it was really, obviously corny during its Philippine airing. Turns out, I was just too young to catch the joke or I was still inept at the art of sarcasm which my favorite character, Niles, so eagerly and masterfully exercises to the likes of C.C., or well, to everybody. Now I have to catch my breath back after launching to fits of laughter every time I watch this show because I find it so damn funny. *tears*
And to what brought me to this mouthful of incessant blabbing is the movie, "Bean". Yes, the movie version of the hit British comedy show Mr. Bean played brilliantly to icon status by oneRowan Atkinson. 

 

I think it was one of the films I watched with mom and found it really, really hilarious to the point of slapping each other's arm because we couldn't contain our laughter. Which goes to say I understood the content of this movie (not that there's so much substance to digest) and enjoyed it even though I was only…nine? Ten? Well, I appreciated the humor at least. After more than a decade, I had the chance to stumble upon the movie at HBO the other day and I just crave to watch the whole thing again (couldn't finish the HBO version, had work). So I got the copy and had the exact reaction the first time I watched it. 
Fantastic feeling. It's like reliving a very happy memory. 
You see, I'm not the kind of person to re-watch a movie or a program from beginning to end, but I did so for this movie. I had my favorite part and I could've skipped there, and now I'm glad I didn't. At the latter part of the movie, Mr. Bean as a representative of the National Gallery of England and impossibly mistaken as an art scholar, was summoned to give a speech about the celebrated painting of America, "The Whistler's Mother". Of course most of what he said was not of scholarly language, yet touched on a rather solid ground of the heart:
"Why was it worth this man here? Spending 50 million of your American dollars on this portrait? And the answer is, well, this picture is worth such a lot of money because it's a picture of Whistler's mother. And as I've learnt by staying with my best friend, David Langley, and his family, families are very important, and even though Mr. Whistler was perfectly aware that his mother was a hideous old bat who looked like she had a cactus lodged up her backside, he stuck with her and even took the time to paint this amazing picture of her. It's not just a painting. It's a picture of a mad old cow who he thought the world of, and that's marvelous. "
Now, the last of that speech certainly was ruled out by mind by the comedy all these years! I found something new from this movie. And I don't give a toss if people think it's silly since it's from Mr. Bean, because I was touched by that thought. 
That thought, that possibility of someone being by my side in the future who would accept all my faults and ugliness, even if I turn out looking like a mad old cow too, as long as that person would love me unconditionally and stay with me nonetheless. Now there's a picture of human love. Sentiment? Yes, I'm quite good at catching it and exaggerating it.
Hmmm...so now I wonder what new things I would learn from those books and films I have gone through before. It's just so amazing that one learns new things from the old and vice versa. Though some would think that's an obvious case, really, it's a fact easily missed when you're not experiencing it.
And now I rest my case. Happily starting on my "The Nanny" marathon. 8D

 

 

Currently listening to: Boyzone - "Picture of You"
Posted by miyuchi on May 10, 2012 at 06:34 PM | help?
May 8, 2012

Colors


miyuchi

 

 

 

I opt to buy other colorful earrings soon. Got sick of the plain silver. Though since these are not surgical I hope my piercings remain in a healthy condition. 

 

Feels good to have them back (and getting attention) but man, sleeping is suddenly a strategy again.

 

*shrug*

Oh well. 

 

ヽ(゜▽、゜)ノ

 

 

Posted by miyuchi on May 8, 2012 at 07:46 PM | help?
May 5, 2012

A not-so glorious morning to everyone


miyuchi

Seriously, it's bad when you start hating a song just because it reminds you of unwanted mornings; mornings which are nevertheless necessary though unnecessarily hateful since it can only mean one thing: WORK.

 

Yep, my Saturday turns official when my eyes crack open too fast to glare towards the sound of my phone playing SHINee's "START" to which addresses my need to get my ass of bed and ready for the weekend work. Yep, I work on weekends too. The whole week to be exact. I can't help it, my weekdays are composed only of a 5-hour work so I need to compensate for the 3-hour less of the usual work shift so I can calm myself and think I would be financially stable.

 

(I'm sipping on coffee which has too less hot water--not because I wanted it--and too much milk, sugar and coffee power. I declare this as my own version of espresso. /sigh probably not too good on an empty stomach?)

 

Even so, I am awake and rambling early on.

 

My mind never shuts the fuck up. I mean, if I was able to formulate the answer to all of the world's problem in one night when my mind would not stop racing, producing images, scenarios, ideas, etc then I wouldn't have minded tossing and turning for perhaps more than half an hour in bed a while ago. Now my five hours of sleep feels like a mere wink. Has that ever happened to you? Like your mind won't switch off even though your body is nothing less than ready to rest? EXHAUSTING. I don't know which is the stronger contender: my mind not shutting up when I want it to stopping me from entering slumber or dreaming so bloody much in one night I wake up almost with a headache. Get my deal?

 

Well anyway my mind now exercises in the morning (unlike my body) and I reckon it would more in the future since I woke up today already going on about what I would write here in the blog (all throughout while washing my face and making coffee) when I get my hands on the computer. But hey, I'm loving the fact I got back to writing even if it's just mere grumbling to the world at seven in the morning. So much better than not finding any words to say or much less to write. Ah, the resurrection of my blog and my personal language.

 

Okay, suddenly this morning doesn't seem so awful.

No wonder John Watson's therapist advised him to write a journal. I told you from a previous post, I felt like I went through a war against myself so I guess this is how I mend the wounds?

 

Alright, alright. Pardon the reference to Sherlock Holmes, I have nothing on these days other than that fandom, okay? Well, BBC is brilliant afterall. Or Gatiss and Moffat are. Heh.

 

On work-related matters, well, no progress. I do applause myself for still having the drive to search though. Well, I've been thinking of other options. I'm no beggar but I think the saying 'beggars can't be choosers' does apply to my current predicament. I've been insisting in finding a job within my city's area, Makati. Heck, it's very convenient and very cool to be working here. But something is telling me otherwise and just close my eyes and go for works in Ortigas. Ortigas is the area which I worked in for more than two years and clearly do not wish to go back. Not that it's completely a pain to work there, it's just farther from my house. I mean, if I can get a job would allow me an easier access, then why not? However now I'm wondering which I should prioritize first? Easy access or more option? 

 

So, thought of the day, eh?

 

And now I'm just hungry. Period. 

So I'll be scurrying to the dining room for proper breakfast.

 

Be well!

 

 

 

 

Oh, before I forget (let's just add one more bit of nonsense here, no harm within a handful already, eh?) I turned on the PC with my weather widget telling me it's 20 degrees outside. Biggest bullocks this desktop gadget has given me. If that's the case I'd be happy to wear a gown inside the house to keep me warm. As if Baguio suddenly took a day off and went to the city? Haayst, might as well remove it. Accurate inaccuracy: mindfuck.

Posted by miyuchi on May 5, 2012 at 09:03 AM | help?
May 3, 2012

"Desiderata" by Max Ehrmann


miyuchi

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Posted by miyuchi on May 3, 2012 at 11:09 PM | 3 shared
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